Thoughts of A Female

Tears are my friends these days. They are with me all the time. They consolate me for what i've been through. I love my tears because they remind me of him. He is away now and may be has someone else, but for me am still here waiting for a call or an sms from him. I choose to be away because he thinks that we won't be good together and i cannot be with someone who is one day makes me the princess of his night and the other day am nothing to him. I was so hard on myself,it was like shooting myself and instead of killing all the feelings that i had for him, i injured my heart and the bullet still there and no sergeon will ever be able to take it out! he was the smile of my heart. I still remember his smile and how we were great together.He has his way of thinking and i cannot go along with such thoughts, although i know that love means sacrefices but i cannot change my way of thinking for anyone because i dont trust that he has the same feelings for me. And this is why i pulled myself from this relation and this is why tears are my friends nowadays.

There is no reason for this post, i just felt like writing this post. Sometimes i dont find people around me to talk to or to understand me. I really find that the only person who understand me is me. i dont know what to say, i just felt that i wanna talk to someone and the only person who is available and can listen to me is me ! i am really confused. sometimes i feel that i dont know what i want or what i should do. However, the past few days were the hardest for me and without my best friends i wouldnt be able to pass with no harms. They helped me to understand that i love him even when he is away and not near me. I can feel him and i am sure that he feels me to. Without my friends i was going to loose him which means that i loose my happiest moments. He doesnt know that i love him but its enough for me that i know i love him :)

Myself: Ahhhhhhhhh
Me: what's wrong with u?!
Myself: I dont know
Me: How come u dont know, you must know what's wrong with u to say ur 'Ahhhh'
Myself: Many things going on inside us
Me: Nothing is going on with me, just talk about u
Myself: How come nothing is going on with u, i can feel it
Me: I have everything. I have great family who loves me, I have great friends who really care about me. I go out and have fun. I do whatever i want. I dont thing that i need anything more than that. I guess this is the perfect life for any human.
Myself: What about him?
Me: yeah, what about him?!
Myself: where is he in ur life? Is he a friend, or do u consider him as a part of ur family?
Me: haaa, hmmmm .. I dont know !
Myself: How come u dont know where does the guy u care about fit in ur life?!
Me: seriously i dont know who is he for me !
Myself: why?
Me: because he is not always here for me, he is not like before. He started to move himself from me.
Myself: what will u do then about this?
Me:i'll just live my life as it was and i'll keep him in my life till he decide where he wants to be in my life
Myself: I agree with you this is the best thing you do and i'll be with you
Me: cool, we will be together; one soul

This post is directed to girls only. i read a book called " Why men love bitches". The author talked about two kind of girls, doormat and a dreamgirl. You know girls we should ask ourselves, who we r? then who we want to be?
The doormat girl is like a slave for a man. She is the nice girl who is available all the time, while the dreamgirl is the 'bitch'. She is nice but she is tough. She is sexy but she is not available all the time. She has a future, plans,friends and many other things to do than being with her man. The dreamgirl if the kind of the girl that all men want. She is not annoying,sweet and helpful but in a way that never occur to men that shows how nice she is. Simply, she is living her life with and without her men.
The question now "who we are?" Are we doormat girls or dreamgirls? and if we are a doormat .. how could we change ourselves to dreamgirls? A simple answer to all these thoughts is live ur life girls, have plans, go out with friends, set with family, just have fun by urself. Girls, you dont need men to have fun. We need men to have more fun, to fall in love, to feel ourselves but that does not mean that we loose our appetite for life. This is what a doormat do, live her whole life for a man and forget everything else and everybody. She gave up on her friends and her family.
Go girls and live ur life and when Mr.Right appears in ur life dont loose him and be a doormat .. Be his dreamgirl :)