Thoughts of A Female
Friday, September 15, 2006
ME & ME
This blog is my area of freedom .. it is where i can express everything i feel without worrying who will judge me or shall i judge myself. Here, i can say everything i cant say in the real world because people always misunderstandable.
I feel something strange inside me, i dont know what is it exactly. I wanna fall in love and i dont, i wanna get my phd and i dont want, i wanna stay at my current job and i dont want. There is an inner conflict within my soul and mind. Sometimes they agree and sometimes they dont. I feel like screaming while i am standing on the top of a hill ...! there is something strange going on inside me ..
Yesterday, i wanna be with people but now i am not feeling the same , i dont want to stay even with my family ..!! Let me talk about someone may be he is special to me its just that i am not sure yet ! i've known this guy for couple of months before my vacation out of my country. he is adorable,loveable and funny plus he is a good looking guy. Girls may envy me but dont be girls cuz i am unhappy with him, or may be i am .. i dont know !!! he went this weekend away with his friends, am i jealous? NO do i miss him? YES .. he didnt call me last night, it was just sms .. negative thoughts going on my mind o madry laish !!! he is in touch with me and he never bothered me even in a word ..!
sometimes i feel that there is something wrong going inside me, sometimes i feel that i am mentally wrong ! i've been through alot with guys .. alot alot no one can ever feel or even know even my best friend (D) who i never hide anything from her ... i really dont know what's going on with me, i wanna live a happy life with a guy who loves me and i love him .. i wanna be a giver like before, i feel this makes me the happiest person on earth but what's going on inside me is somehow destroying this !!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .. i dont know what to say more seriously
I feel something strange inside me, i dont know what is it exactly. I wanna fall in love and i dont, i wanna get my phd and i dont want, i wanna stay at my current job and i dont want. There is an inner conflict within my soul and mind. Sometimes they agree and sometimes they dont. I feel like screaming while i am standing on the top of a hill ...! there is something strange going on inside me ..
Yesterday, i wanna be with people but now i am not feeling the same , i dont want to stay even with my family ..!! Let me talk about someone may be he is special to me its just that i am not sure yet ! i've known this guy for couple of months before my vacation out of my country. he is adorable,loveable and funny plus he is a good looking guy. Girls may envy me but dont be girls cuz i am unhappy with him, or may be i am .. i dont know !!! he went this weekend away with his friends, am i jealous? NO do i miss him? YES .. he didnt call me last night, it was just sms .. negative thoughts going on my mind o madry laish !!! he is in touch with me and he never bothered me even in a word ..!
sometimes i feel that there is something wrong going inside me, sometimes i feel that i am mentally wrong ! i've been through alot with guys .. alot alot no one can ever feel or even know even my best friend (D) who i never hide anything from her ... i really dont know what's going on with me, i wanna live a happy life with a guy who loves me and i love him .. i wanna be a giver like before, i feel this makes me the happiest person on earth but what's going on inside me is somehow destroying this !!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .. i dont know what to say more seriously
1 Comments:
We all have what you call it " inner conflict " and this gets you crazy I know, ask me about it .. but for the million times I'm telling you "watch out your actions dear , your inner conflict may turns to an outer one" and you know this is even worse :/
Wish you all the best sweetie ;)
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